Rant # 6 The Value of Women

The women's movement had it all wrong. For the past few decades, women have been trying to convince men and themselves that they are just as capable and competent as men are. Whether it be in the workplace or in combat or in sports, the drive for equality by these Amazon princesses has been relentless.

Nowhere has this fight been more prevalent than in the belief that men and women should not have salary imbalances. "Equal pay for equal work" is the slogan that launched a thousand lawsuits.

But men and women are not equal. Women, in my opinion, are a far more superior gender. Take the latest college statistics for instance. Women are outnumbering men on campuses, getting better grades, and get involved in more potent extracurricular activities.

They are also more prominent and vocal in politics, peace movements, public speaking. They are more adept to handling pain, mature faster, and have the unbelievable burden of having to give birth.

So how is it that with all these qualifications, they are still earning only 80 cents for each male dollar?

The answer is simple really. Society, by recognizing all the qualities I mentioned, made women more valuable than men. Take an instance of a burning building - a firefighter rushes in to find a man and a woman, both just as capable of being rescued. The firefighter will always rescue the woman first. Or an instance of a ship going down, women before men yet again.

And just as any object of value needs to be insured, women are no exception. Women need to pay a societal insurance or a tax to maintain their position of value and superior status. As such, from every dollar they earn, some amount has to be displaced to insure their right of first survival.

What should that amount be? You might ask. Well, if you are a woman, how much more valuable do you consider your life to be then a man's? If you answer "a lot more valuable", well then, pay the piper. If you don't think it is more valuable, then I invite you to become a card-carrying member of the "my life is just as important as his, Mr. Firefighter" club. Slowly but surely, the salary will rise, the life expectancy will fall, and harmony will be achieved.

Until all women join this club, please allow me to enjoy my extra 20 cents in peace, as I patiently wait to be not rescued.

But seriously. By heedlessly arguing that women are just as valuable as men, women are actually devaluing themselves. And that is a real shame.